Change

Everything at some point in time seems to change. Seasons change, fashion trends come and go, but most substantially of all people change. We grow older, taller, more mature (well at least some of us do), become smarter, and so much more. We change our minds in ways we never thought we would,  we question everything we used to never doubt, and we understand more when we thought we had reached our limit. Some things however don't change. My room is still the same color it's been since fourth grade, my dog Copper is still an idiot, and my youth group is still just as crazy. They are still way too competitive at things that aren't a competition and they still make everything a dirty joke. Matt still would rather not wear clothes, Brandon still thinks he's the best, Ichiyama still thinks he's smarter than everyone, Peter is still trying to be a hipster, Vicky is still boy crazy, and Katie and Shelby are still best friends. Everyone is still in the same exact place I left them in and that is welcoming. In one sense it is, but in the other it's not. Like, I still belong there but then again I don't. I grew up, I left. Am I still the same person? Hell no! If I'm not who I was then who am I?  Because last time I checked I was still me. Even though I'm not sure exactly who me is anymore or what I'm doing with my life. I have this feeling that soon its going to all blow up in my face. Like life is taking a stab at me that says, "See? I told you so!" Like soon I'm going to find that I don't belong here either and feel lost and alone all over again. Like some part of me is trying to embrace the inevitable change that has occurred while the other part is trying to fit back in to what used to be. Some part of me knows change is good but the other part of be is still scared by the sheer thought of it. I guess what has changed mostly is me and that is a REALLY HARD concept to wrap my head around! That is all for now, until next time catch you on the flip side.