Santa Cruz,
For over two years I called you my home.
Now you’re likely empty and alone.
For once you had girls within your walls,
Running, crying, laughing…
Dear, dear Santa Cruz we did it all!
There were fights, messes, many things broken,
Restraints, yelling, and every curse word spoken.
Food eaten,
Food left untouched.
Videos and songs on repeat,
And never ever a lack of love.
There were tears,
Tears, and frustrating days.
Paperwork, upon paperwork,
All hours of every day.
I laid on your couches,
I sat in your chairs,
I laid on your bed and thought of the people who used to be there.
Santa Cruz you were full of goodbyes,
Yet full of hellos.
Of happy screams,
And things uniquely your own.
Not very big, but large in heart.
3 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, 1 office,
And the one and only Santa Cruz dryer.
There were days of French toast breakfasts,
That I no longer wanted to make.
Medications and mistakes.
Learning curves and drama,
Plans on the whiteboard.
“What are we doing today?”
“Can I watch TV?”
“Why am I sidelined?”
“Leave me alone!”
Read.
“Kelsey?”
“No.”
“Bonquiqui?”
“Yes.”
Best and worsts,
Limbs in the air.
It’s Saturday.
That’s all I have to say.
Repetition,
Same shit different day.
Predictably unpredictable.
When I walked away from you for the last time,
I got to my car and I cried.
My heart ached for days.
I ache now.
To know that I can never go back,
Even though I wasn’t going to.
Erased.
Someone, someday might live there.
And not know.
Not know you were once a place,
A place for all those who had really no where else to go,
To belong.
Staff and residents,
An unconventional family.
Family all the same.
There is no more boat.
No more oars.
No more rowing,
Circles,
Leaks,
Or rocking.
No more trying to stay afloat,
Or working together.
No more “Be good,”
“I love you.”
“It’s never too late to have a good day.”
So long,
Sayonara,
Dear, dear Santa Cruz.
You will never be forgotten.
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