Dating Apps

Dear People On Dating Apps,

You put your height in the app you don’t have to list that in your bio. It doesn’t matter!!! While we are on the topic of bios not writing one just tells me how much you can’t hold a conversation. If you can’t even talk about yourself for one paragraph than why would I go on a date with you?!? How in the world are all the people on dating apps active, indecisive (beach or mountains just pick one!!! Both is not an answer), outdoor activity loving, conservative/moderate, POT heads!?! Am I the only person left in CA who doesn’t smoke weed or has a vape pen?? Do you think the more “pretty” you are the less you have to write about yourself (less read as zero)? I guess it works out for you because your pictures speak volumes. Fuck boy, fuck boy, fuck boy and my finger swipes left, left, left. My profile features a picture of me at OC Pride wearing a shirt that clearly says “I am Asexual” with fucking LGBTQ+ flags painted on my face. For god sakes tell me why you ask me if I’m down to fuck or anything closely related to sex!?! It’s my profile picture. It’s in clear view! It’s not a revealing top. There is nothing to distract you. Gah! Unmatch.

What I want to say on my profile:

NOT DTF!!! If you are swipe left!
If you ❤️ weed, vaping, or cigs. Left!
Your big catch from fishing, your muscles, and your facial hair DOES NOT impress me one FUCKING bit!
No I’m not an outside person. I hate beer and coffee. Isn’t anyone here for a long time anymore?!?

My idea of a perfect date is dinner and a movie or kicking your butt at a card/board game. I like drinking cocktails, talking about real shit, food, naps, movies, and Disney. My favorite thing to do is absolutely nothing at all. I think too much and I don’t with the flow. Looking for something romantically exclusive.

Again for the person in the back I’M QUEER AND I DON’T WANT TO FUCK YOU!!!

That’s all for now until next time catch ya on the flip side.

Seriously pissed off and utterly hopeless,

Ky