Babies Equal Happiness

What it would be to have a baby,
Not a doll,
Not a friend,
But a baby cut from my own bread,
A baby with my DNA,
My voice in their head,
And who's well being I'd dread,
What I wouldn't give to be a mother,
And make my unborn baby boy a brother,
Two or three times over.
How happy it must feel to wake up every morn,
To see that smiling face that you have born,
Oh, the games I could play,
That could make years feel like just one day,
That can turn unmotivated hours into busy seconds,
How much love I would feel,
For every chubby ounce of my baby would be undeinably real,
What's undeniable now though is the sadness I feel.
My life goes in slow motion.
Life for me doesn't pass like waves of the ocean.
More like quick sand turned into cement,
Stuck!
School is tedious, life is slow,
I'm only getting older, as we all know.
I'm worried, I'm crying,
What little self motivation I had is certainly dying.
I'm stressing, I'm guessing,
That the future's end is closely pressing.
If tomorrow it all ended and my life's light went black,
I'd have lived a not full life and there'd be no going back.
To die not mother would be to die in shame,
That would mean my whole life was in vain!
Is it crazy that I put so much weight,
On the outcome of my procreating fate?
Maybe
Is motherhood easy?
No
Is it rewarding?
Yes.
Opinion or not the fact still lies with how I feel.
My feelings are 100% real!
If I can't be a mom I am nothing.
I am no one and my life has no meaning.
For a person who changes her mind often,
In my 22 years this desire never did soften.
I envy those who already have kids.
Even if they are 19 and unmarried.
I'm aware that when it comes to life results may vary,
But I'm very serious when I say,
I want to be a mom more than anything okay?
Passion doesn't follow logic,
My heart doesn't follow my brain,
And my heart is telling me.
Babies equal happiness!